June 30, 2020

I can't help myself, need to elaborate a bit more on something I wrote in the past about believing that God not only is who He claims to be, but also that He can and will do what he has claimed to be able to do.

1 Ne. 11 has some interesting versus that touch on this subject.  RIght off the bat in verse 1 he says he "believed that the Lord could make [the things Lehi saw] made known unto me".  Nephi is teaching two things there in that one short phrase that are critically important for each of us to understand.  First, he believed that God could and would come up with a way to show Nephi what he wished to see.  He didn't doubt God's ability to accomplish whatever design he wanted to accomplish. 

Then, he didn't just say that he knew the Lord could do it, he says he knows the Lord can do it FOR HIM.  That's a whole new level.  It's not just believing that God can and will do amazing stuff, but it's believing that he'll do that stuff JUST FOR ME.  It's amazing.  It's no wonder that when we get into subsequent verses when Nephi is caught up in the Spirit unto a high mountain, The first words out of my mouth would be something akin to "Holy Chickens this is AWESOME!".  But not Nephi, when the Spirit communicated to him, he wasn't freaking out and trying to make sense of anything, he simply asked his question . . . because he knew all along that the Lord could make things known unto him.

Really reminiscent of Joseph Smith - in none of his accounts of the first vision do we get any chance of being speechless or dumbfounded.  He just asked his question.  It was an extraordinary event, but his faith was such that he did what he'd prayed for. 

Great chapter to read when thinking about real faith in God's power to love and deliver each of us individually.

June 29, 2020

;:Writing on my IPAD tonight and it Randomly insert;;s ;semicolons, which create some havoc, but ;;;don’t want to go in the room and wake Kat.

Inter;est;ing experience tonight.  I just stopped watching a movie that was anything but uplifting.  I was watching it on “vid-angel”, a company that removes ba;d things from ;movies so you can watch movies that may have be;en appropriate, without the inappropriate stuff.  

W:ell, as hard as they try, dark, ugly movies ;are still dark and ugly, even if you take out the profanity, the sex, the violence.  I turned it off afte;r what was probably too long, and promptly  remembered I needed to re;ad ;my scriptures and write in my blog.  So, I began.  I should mention that ;I have enjoyed very much writing my thoughts as I’ve rea;d;, and ;one of my bigger challenges is to ;not want to write something from every verse.  Well, tonight a couple things happened.  First, I found myself rea;ding faster trying to get the chapter done.  First time I’ve felt that way since I started this blog.  Secondly, I was not getting anything for;on rea;ding.  It felt like there just was;n’t anything there jumping out at; me.  I star;t;;e;d to a;sk myself about what kind of spirit I have brought with me to the sc;rupture reading.  What did I expec;;t af;ter; wat;Ching ;that junk?  :I ;had to pause and think; a bit;;, expres;s sorrow ;for my mistake ;;;, and ;try re;;adding again.  ;;;;I p;romptly came upon vers;e 18 of chapter 9, where we’re reminded that “ he is the same yesterday, today, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him.”  

;The scriptures weren’t more boring tonight - He was not different,; nothing had changed on God’s side. ;He ;;is the same ;yesterday, today and forever.  What was different was me - I had come in a different frame of mind, having p;erhap;s chased the Sp;iris from my presence.  It was on me to close the gap ;created by my ;;;;introducing uncleanness into my mind.  And the interesting part is that I only noticed it because I’m reading my scriptures.  Perhaps I’d not have remembered or noticed it at all had I been ;at work, or somewhere else.  How much does my willingness to be surrounded ;by wickedness keep me from hearing the spirit; ;;;throughout my regular days;.  :Am I missing insp;I;ation ;because ;I have ;allowed myself to be numb or accepting of dar;kness ;; that I could e;a silly ex;tinguish or ;;s;eparate from if I desired?  ;;;;;Good thing to think about tonight. :I can do a better job ;;at d;Istancing myself from things that would ;cast a s;hadow ove;r my spiritual receptiveness.

June 28, 2020

1 Nephi 8.  

So I know this sounds a bit "grasping", but what an interesting way to start the chapter.  I had never caught this verse before, and frankly, on it's own it seems to have neither place nor relevance to the topic of the chapter.  Why in the world did Nephi think . . . or why did Mormon think, to place that scripture right there?  It's like dropped in out of the sky.  Unless you think Nephi is actually being clever, and setting our minds up for the conversation about the tree, and the seeds, and the deliciousness of fruit.  After all, it's a chapter about the tree, the delicious fruit, etc. Very crafty, Nephi - well done.

Now, this is a thought I've had in the past but I think it bears writing.  One of the interesting ideas to me in this chapter is the idea of the great and spacious building.  After all, for most it really is an idea, not really an option.  We read in this chapter that people were desirous to join the great and spacious building, but from what I can tell, for most that pursuit results, almost always, really didn't work out.  Verse 23 says they did 'lose their way, and they wandered off, and were lost.  It also teaches 32 that "many were drowned", and "many were lost, wandering in strange roads".

I really think this is deliberately trying to help us understand that in many ways, this "great and spacious building" is really not a thing that is accessible to most people.  It looks awesome for those who are attracted, insecure, and the idea of accomplishing that feels like maybe it will fill the void.  But the fact is that these are simply ideas that we see all over in media, in social groups, etc.  THey are concepts that people portray as what you should do to be like the proverbial 'them', however it turns out that you can't be one of 'them' because they aren't actually real, or at a minimum they are nothing near what they purport to be.  It's a satanic ruse to draw you from the path.  for some reason I often think of celebrities and movie stars - the holllywood crowd - who are pushing an image and life as if people can go have that.  Well that truth is 2 fold.  One is simply that no, most people whatever they do, however hard they try, they can buy all the clothes, do the right things, wear the right Makeup, go to the right clubs, use the right cool jargon, but they will just be people in the end, completely lost in the pursuit of trying to be . . .   The second is more obvious, but simply it is that wickedness indeed is not happiness.  Hollywood romance and much more marriage itself, have a shelf life something akin to chickens hanging around a crocodile farm.  Short, and with an ugly ending.  Celebrity seems to be like a live facebook stream.  People showing the part that is enviable, not disclosing the parts that are not as attractive.  

In general, a lesson to take to heart is that we simply can't be chasing things that are empty but find a way of attracing our attention.  We have to remember what is real is only the things we know to be real, things that we have felt and caused us to "sing the song of redeeming love".  A pursuit of those things indeed can and will end as we pray they will.  They are not empty promises, they have proved themselves time and time again to be the source of joy and happiness.

June 26, 2020

1 Ne. 7.  So, a couple thoughts tonight.  The first is around forgetting.  Nephi and his bros have just used the word of the Lord to help Ishmael and co. understand that they needed to join Lehi out in the wild wild west.   Well, no sooner have they left than Laman and Lemuel, and a few likeminded offspring of Ishmael, decide to stage a mini-revolt to go back.  Well, as only Nephi can, he gives them a bit of a little brother tongue lashing, in the which he says three times, in as many verses, 'how is it that ye have forgotten'.  

Well, a couple things to ponder on that.  First, having a testimony of God's will doesn't necessarily mean that one will follow it.  Agency is a rascal, and it's real.  In fact, my opinion is that the only sins that really do weigh heavily in the balance are those that we make willingly, "against the greater light" if you will.  In other words, I'm not convinced necessarily that Laman/Lemuel just forgot.  Fact is that they simply have used their agency in the past - as they are doing now - to do what they want, not what they know is right.  

That said, forgetting is a real thing.  I don't know that we forget the experiences, but we do forget the conviction of the SPirit we felt when we had those experiences.  And those feelings are the things that make a testimony, and they stay kindled insomuch as we continue to put wood on that little fire.  I'm not sure how many people forget any of the good experiences, I think people just experience that the Spirit ceases to strive because the person ceases to strive.  

One more snarky comment that may or may not be legit, but in verse 20 and the bowing down before Nephi for forgiveness - not sure I'm buying.  I think they realized Lehi is going to flip if he find out so they thought they'd try to smooth it over realtime.  But i do like that Nephi suggestion that before they do anything, they get the Lord's forgiveness then move on.  

June 25, 2020

1 Ne 7: I'm curious as to the comment of Nephi in verse 4, where he talks about finding favor with Ishmael, insomuch that "we did speak unto him the words of the Lord".  The word that stands out in that phrase is "we".  It was the same cast of characters that went for the plates, and we doesn't just mean Nephi, and I presume it wasn't just Sam either.  So if Laman and Lemuel were part of it, I can't imagine it was phony.  Nephi and Lehi are a tough act to hang with.  Their faith is so intense that I think most people would be intimidated, and maybe even resentful.  The things they're asked to do are pretty extreme.  There are other spots in the Book of Mormon where we see redeeming qualities in Laman and Lemuel - and I think this is also one of them.  The problem is, it can't just be in good times, and it has to be consistent.

I think consistent discipline in self mastery and bending our will to the Father are the things that matter most.  I think nearly every person has flashes of goodness and kindness, for 'the Spirit giveth light to every man that comes into the world'.  The challenge is how that sticks in times like . . . well, when Laban steals all your stuff and tries to kill you.  I think in this case, there is no reason to "NOT" do the right thing - and let's face it, there's upside if Ishmael gets onboard.

June 24, 2020

1 Nephi 5:

Couple thoughts to record today.  The first comes right out of the first few verses, where Sariah famously 'murmurs' about Lehi and his 'out of the mainstream' visions.  I haven't often thought about the risk that was being taken be Lehi himself.  Sariah seems particularly concerned that danger might befall her boys.  But the truth is, no boys, no food, no food, no live.  He wasn't putting his sons in nearly as much danger as he was subjecting himself and Sariah to.  Pretty gutsy, but I guess that's what faith is.  It's really not faith if it costs you nothing to believe.  And therein lies the question - how much faith have I truly had to exercise?  What has been the cost of my faith?  Not much.  Joseph Smith made the oft quoted statement that "“a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation.”  So faith and Sacrifice are partners - probably over the course of a life they will constantly show up as companions.

Another point worth thinking on was verse 5, as it relates closely to the risk conversation.   These are words quoted from Lehi prior to the return of the 4 boys from Jerusalem.  He says, "I know that the Lord will deliver my sons out of the hands of Laban".  Clearly he knew this thing was riddled with risk.  That statement makes it obvious that Lehi didn't expect those boys to be able to saunter into Laban's courtard and say, What's up Labe - can I get those plates quick like?"  He expected confrontation and turmoil, but he had no doubt.  That's a heap of faith.  The list of things that could have gone wrong is endless, and many of them end in starvation or death at the hands of villain. An actuary would never have bought off on this trip given the timing, the equipment, and the adversaries.  But Lehis' faith is the reason I sit here this moment.  What a guy.

June 23, 2020

1 Nephi 4

Verse 1, Nephi talks about being diligent in keeping the commandments of the Lord and going after the plates.  Interesting how he calls it a commandment.  I think we, or I, think of commandments as the things that are explicitly called out as commandments by ancient or modern day prophets - whether in scripture or in word.  Nephi considered his task a commandment from God.  I wonder if we would be more dligent ourselves in following the Spirit if we thought of every time we are touched by the Spirit as a commandment, not just a good idea.  After all, isn't a commandment really anything we believe the Lord has asked us to do, or not do?  So how is ignoring a spiritual prompting different than bearing false witness?  That's an impactful thought for me.  I think I will try to think of my little promptings differently - more like Nephi.  I just received my own commandment, and I should be diligent in keeping commandments.

Verse 37: I know this is probably not a revolutionary thought, but the second that Zoram gave his word, Nephi says their fears about him were gone.  I am considering that statement in so many ways.  When I say I will do something, does anybody still fear I will not do it?  Do I consider the oaths, or commitments I make fully before making them, with an oath to myself that indeed I will follow through?  I know I never deliberately mislead people, but I would say that while my intentions are good, I don't know that people always experience complete comfort that I will always deliver what I commit to. 

The other thing I need to do better at is making sure my kids know that when they say something, they are expected to complete it, period.  I think I often get so swamped and forget what commitments they have made to me, and forget to insist they report on their activities to which they have committed.  I am doing them a disservice, whether they know it or not, by not holding them accountable.  Because the world, and the Lord, will ensure that there is accountability. 

June 22, 2020

1 Ne 3:31

I have thought a lot in the past about how Laman and Lemuel, after seeing an angel, within moments managed to find a way to murmur.  Certainly that is shocking but it's painfully obvious as well.  As I considered it a little more, word for word, I was thinking about the statement they make, "How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands?"

For the first time ever, I realized that they are not questioning the existence of the Lord, they are questioning his abilities.  It's not a statement about whether or not he's there, it's can he really do what he says he can do.

I think there are so many of us that actually have a pretty unshakable belief in God, in the Savior, in the things Jesus actually did on earth.  We feel comfortable with that because we have felt comfort from them.  We have felt the Spirit whisper, or even holler, that they are there, that they care.  But too many of us, whether we recognize it or not, are actually doubting their power.  Because we can't imagine how they could possibly rescue us, or fix something, or provide something, or arrange something, we don't believe it can happen.  We don't doubt their existence, we doubt their power.  And honestly, I'm not sure that's much better than doubting their existence altogether.  Or perhaps we doubt that we are worthy to have that power exercised on our behalf . . . and again, there it is, questioning their omnipotence - as if there is a limited supply of divine power and wasting it on me is somehow diminishing what remains in the power supply for everybody else.  

But to believe that they are, must include a belief that they are also who they say they are.  And faith in that provides eternal hope and joy.  

June 10, 2020

1 Nephi 3.  Not a ton to say tonight, this story is the well known account of the boys returning to Jerusalem for the plates.  After the second failed attempt, having lost all their wealth to Laban, we learn that Laman was mad, and therefore so was Lemuel.  Just a great reminder of the importance of forming our own opinions and thoughts on our own, vs. finding somebody to tell us how we should react.

June 9, 2020

Still reading in 1 Nephi 2.  In verse 11 Nephi talks about the murmuring of Laman and Lemuel, and how they complained and whined about having leave "THEIR gold and silver, and THEIR precious things".  I can't help but wonder about their acquisition of those things.  I don't know how old these boys were, I presume mid teens or so - my logic simply being that if they were adults, they wouldn't have gone, but they were old enough to really cause trouble with their complaining.

In any event, assuming they are somewhere in the mid-teen range, did they earn the money to acquire the gold and silver?  What was really THEIRS?  Perhaps Lehi was too generous with his older boys, but either way, they were making quite a scene about having to leave "THEIR" stuff, which I would bet was the result of little if any sweat of their brows.  

That said, it's an interesting idea - this thought of things being OURS, and our reticence to part with our material possessions.  Are we indeed owners of anything?  I think in our more lucid and spiritually attuned moments we remember that we are simply stewards of things.  "I have made you ruler over few things; now I will make you ruler over many things".  This may be cliche, but we simply need to do something with the things for which we are responsible.  The more we can make of those things, or the more we can grow the vineyard, the more that is added upon as to appropriately utilize as we feel guided to do.  Stuff is simply stuff, but in the right mindset, 'stuff' are the tools we have at our disposal to bless our home and family, and any others in our stewardship.

June 8, 2020 - 1 Nephi 2

"Blessed are thou because of the things thou hast done," the Lord tells Lehi.  With respect to my previous post, those thing which most if not all others would have considered 'pearls before swine'.  I have read much and thought much about the idea of being and it's partnership with the doing.  I love an old talk by Elder Oaks in which he talks about the importance of the doing, but not because we stack up the deeds themselves, but because in the doing, we are 'becoming' something.

So what was Lehi becoming, because of all his 'doing'?  Well, Lehi was becoming - according to the Lord - "blessed".  So what does that mean, to be called "blessed"?  I guess there is the simple and intuitive response - that God will "bless him".  But the fact is that such is now how we find itr phrased in 1 Ne. 2:1.  God didn't say that he WOULD send Lehi blessings for what he had done, he said that Lehi is already "blessed" for what he had done.  In other words, it's not an activity, perhaps it is actually a state of being?  What does it mean to "be blessed"? 

Maybe the answer is in the subsequent versus.  Perhaps being blessed means being in a state of faith, in alignment with the Lord.  After receiving the praise of the Lord for his preaching, and being told that he was in a blessed state, he then is told to head out to the god-forsaken wilderness.  And in his "blessed" state, he didn't hesitate, he packed and went.  I was just thinking about how verse 4 compares to the rich young man who had desires to do good, but he was clearly not in a "blessed" state.  He hadn't done enough to become blessed, so his alignment was not in sync with God, and he thought to his physical possessions, rather than who he would be if he were willing to pay the price in order to become the person he wanted to be.

Step by step, young man, you can't be where you want to be if you don't take the next step - it's the only one available to you; but this was the step, and the young man wanted what he saw way up ahead but would not take that one simple next step, which would have led him to the next one.

June 6, 2020

Reading 1 Nephi 1.  I'm really intrigued by the behavior of Lehi in this chapter.  He is awed and amazed by the visions he is shown by the Lord, and in particular Nephi recounts that he is shown the destruction of Jerusalem, and from what I can tell at no point is Lehi told that "this is their fate if they choose not to repent".  This is to say that Lehi saw the future, and destruction was to be how that story ended.

However, the next verses immediately begin outlining the things Lehi is doing to let the people of Jerusalem know of his information so they could repent, and perhaps change the fate that he'd already seen from the hand of the Lord. 

I wonder why he did that - it seems the fate was sealed.  I have been thinking about the efforts we are asked to expend on the lost cause, or what may be perceived as lost cause.  I have just a couple thoughts as I fight sleep here.  First is that our job is our job, and it's not our responsibility to determine our job is no longer needed.  I am a big proponent of doing our duty, and powering through unless the spirit clearly instructs otherwise.

Second thought is that we are easily sucked into the idea that our service is for those we serve, and we should regulate our serviced base on who actually wants or needs it, or who is likely to make a change in their lives.  The reality is that this is for the person serving.  I have no doubt that Lehi had something he had to learn about himself that would only come through fulfilling his duty, no matter how hopeful or hopeless the people of Jerusalem were.  Such should be the case in our service.

June 5, 2020

This morning on the way into work I was listening to a talk from Elder Eyring given at the Spring 2020 General Conference.  A statement from that talk stood out to me that I had missed in previous times listening.  He simply stated that our Heavenly Father "Guides us step by step, never forcing".

I began to consider that thought, and thought about the steps that I may have taken, at the subtle but clear guidance that I have sometimes received but chosen not to take the step.  I sometimes wonder if I am not yet who I could have been at this point in my life had I been willing to take each step that I was guided to take.  Alas, He is 'never forcing', and it has always been my own choice as to whether or not I would be willing to take the step.

The reality is that step by step is indeed the way that the path is to be trod.  I don't believe there are gigantic leaps one takes in their spiritual growth.  When you take one step, then and only then can you be guided to the next one, and so it goes . . . or doesn't go.  Unwillingness to take a small step means simply that you stay just where you are.  And the cost to staying where you are can be dangerously high.  Because the evidence is pretty clear on staying where you are: it actually really doesn't happen.  I think a person is either moving forward or backward, staying is not an option as much as we might try to convince ourselves we're fine right where we are.  We're not fine right where we are, because stopping is never fine. 

And momentum is much more challenging to maintain than to initiate.  I will continue to pray and hope that I can generate the momentum I will need to sustain my stepping forward.  Two days in a row, not much, but not nothin'. 

June 4, 2020

The Avett Brothers have a song in which they state, "I've been lazy with my love".  I think I could say something similar about my worship, and the strength of my testimony has become languid and uninspiring to me, and by association, to others.  This is to be a journal of my thoughts as I revive myself and get my thoughts, energy, and focus back on track with those things that I know connect me to the version of Reese Reynolds that I like best, and that is most capable of bringing goodness to the world and the people in it. 

I started reading the Book of Mormon from the beginning, and it never ceases to amaze me the immediate power I feel as I return to its pages.  

I have some self doubt regarding my commitment to this line of study, but I will hope and pray for strength and inspiration to stay the course, exercising patience with myself knowing the less-than-disciplined approach I take to life - I don't know for sure how bad or good that is, but I know that some of what makes me who I am - even the best version of me - is my ability, even desire, to operate in such a way as to allow for chance to come into and even materially impact my life.  However, in some areas I recognize that discipline will be the cornerstone of my development, and this is certainly one of those areas.  As such I will endeavor for some level of consistency.

As I write this I am sitting at the desk of my beloved grandfather Bateman.  This desk is one of the few relics I have of his life, but it is one of great value to me.  Perhaps it will be a constant reminder and inspiration to call upon the strength of the great women and men whose lives are the bricks of the sturdy and lofty edifice atop which I and my family members are blessed to stand, and from which the view - if we choose to look - is a clear and unencumbered path to faith, hope, joy, and peace.